Back in 2010 I went away on a misshun. It started May 25 wif a beeg fight wif JoeGrey. And then I went undercover. Mum looked for me a lot, but I had work. to. do.
Finally, I was able to come home. I didn’t tell her much about teh misshun – it’s classified – but we still celebrate August 8th every year. She doesn’t hold my silence against me. She’s cool like dat.
On August 8th, four years ago, I strolled up onto teh patio like I always did… like nuffing was wrong. I was nearly 3 pounds lighter. I didn’t have much fat before, but it was nearly all gone. Even my skin was stretched tightly across my body. I ate well and was a little dehydrated, but nuffing more than a day or two in teh 90 degree heat wifout regular access to water would cause. I wasn’t missing any teeth or claws, my whiskers weren’t broken off, and my ears weren’t torn or dirty. Victory was mine.
Though teh victory was mine and teh misshun was successful, I’m happy to call mahself a retired field agent. Now teh only fing I command is teh COUCH!